Sketchbook pages 50-53

I've been doodling in my sketchbook!  Hooray!

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1. Gesture sketches.  I referenced poses from a book about Bruce Lee called Bruce Lee; The Art of Expressing the Human Body.  The quote reads, "Knowing is not enough, we must apply.  Willing is not enough, we must do."

2. I read an article about Marilyn Manson's love and use of make-up and wanted to use some red and blue paint.

3. A collage; "Shamanism.  Explore. Learn. Discover.", "Impulse.  Mania.  beauty.  liven up.  day-night.  amazing.  choices."

4. An important reminder collage; "Wake-up call: The 'Not Good Enough' Trap.  Some of us are so used to feeling bad about ourselves, it's become normal.  We have to make a change now, to let go of the 'ideals' we've been taught to achieve, and to stop being ruled by fear.  Essentially, we are addicts, addicted to viewing ourselves in a negative way.  Basically, we're crippled by the fear of not being enough in general.  We have learned...to be afraid of being imperfect - and of being human. That's no way to live. It's tiring and uncomfortable and time-consuming.  We need to stop thinking of ourselves as insufficient, as not good enough.  Essentially, we are addicts, addicted to viewing ourselves in a negative way. A wise woman once told me you can't just stop thinking something, because that leaves a void; you have to replace the old thought pattern with a new, healthier one. What if we replaced our negativity with positivity, replaced the hate with love?  I look in the mirror everyday and say, 'I love you; you're beautiful.'  My mind didn't want to break the habit of hating myself. But the more I did it, the more natural it felt...until it eventually felt good.  I'm over feeling bad about myself."  "Be your beautiful you."  "Kick the habit."

Old Sketch of my Partner

I found this old sketch the other day and was rather titillated by it - it's my partner*!  He's playing video games.  He and I have been together for 12 years!  That's longer than most American couples stay married these days!  I love him, he's so cute, I can't get over him.  I guess we're old souls or something, because even after everything we've been through (and there was a rough patch these past few years) our bond is stronger than ever and we still want to be with one another (and we met in Middle School).  

His father wants me to do a painting to put up in his office - I ought to get on that!

*I use "partner" as a gender-neutral term - I'm an androgynous, sometimes gender-fluid lady-person and he's also rather andro and effeminate but identifies as a male-person.