Sketchbook pages 50-53

I've been doodling in my sketchbook!  Hooray!

1.   2.

3.

4.

1. Gesture sketches.  I referenced poses from a book about Bruce Lee called Bruce Lee; The Art of Expressing the Human Body.  The quote reads, "Knowing is not enough, we must apply.  Willing is not enough, we must do."

2. I read an article about Marilyn Manson's love and use of make-up and wanted to use some red and blue paint.

3. A collage; "Shamanism.  Explore. Learn. Discover.", "Impulse.  Mania.  beauty.  liven up.  day-night.  amazing.  choices."

4. An important reminder collage; "Wake-up call: The 'Not Good Enough' Trap.  Some of us are so used to feeling bad about ourselves, it's become normal.  We have to make a change now, to let go of the 'ideals' we've been taught to achieve, and to stop being ruled by fear.  Essentially, we are addicts, addicted to viewing ourselves in a negative way.  Basically, we're crippled by the fear of not being enough in general.  We have learned...to be afraid of being imperfect - and of being human. That's no way to live. It's tiring and uncomfortable and time-consuming.  We need to stop thinking of ourselves as insufficient, as not good enough.  Essentially, we are addicts, addicted to viewing ourselves in a negative way. A wise woman once told me you can't just stop thinking something, because that leaves a void; you have to replace the old thought pattern with a new, healthier one. What if we replaced our negativity with positivity, replaced the hate with love?  I look in the mirror everyday and say, 'I love you; you're beautiful.'  My mind didn't want to break the habit of hating myself. But the more I did it, the more natural it felt...until it eventually felt good.  I'm over feeling bad about myself."  "Be your beautiful you."  "Kick the habit."

Music Inspiration for the Night

My inspiration for the night - Dimmu Borgir's "Raabjørn speiler Draugheimens skodde" ("Raabjørn Reflects the Mist of Draugheimen")

This song makes me feel like I'm in church; I get this "rapture" feeling, like I'm connected to something of such grace (I used to be forced to go to church when I was younger and I had never, ever felt like what I feel when I listen to this song, or when I had my own intense spiritual experience back in 2009).  It must be because it reminds me of Frodo's journey in The Lord of the Rings.

Langt...der borte i mørket

Gjennom tretopper der månelys driver

Langt...der borte i all tåke

Inn gjennom min sjel den sorte angst river

På de mosegrodde steiner de seg viser

Når nattemørket har senket seg over

Ekkoene...fra deres grufulle jamring

Endeløst...du kan høre

I horisonten langt vekk

Skimtes den sigende skådde

Horder av ild rider månelyset i flokk

Ved daggry de samles ved en bortgjemt ådde

Den iskalde snøen

Har kommet

Denne gang

I evig fokk

Far...away in the darkness

Where moonlight glides through treetops

Far...away in all fog

Entering through my soul the black river of anxiety

On the mossy stones they show themselves

When darkness has descended upon

The echoes...of their heinous moaning

Endlessly...you can hear

Far away on the horizon

Is glimpsed a gliding mist

Like hordes of fire-riders the moonlight flocks

At dawn they gather at a secluded promontory

The icy snow

Has come

This time

In eternal drift

(translation is my own)

Be yourself

Just be yourself.  Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person you are.

- Unknown

Creepy!

I have a love of dark, creepy things.  My partner knows this.  My partner shows me this wallpaper this evening after supper:

Awesome!  Nice and creepy!  

But then I thought to myself, "I've seen that demon before!"  I promptly told my partner so and brought up a little drawing I did over four years ago now:

Uncanny!  

My only explanation is I tapped into the collective unconscious (what I can make out of the signature the painting was completed and signed in 2005; I have never seen this painting until today) and brought forth the similar rendering of this entity (both have a hooded-cloak-type-garb, mismatched eyes with one being shiny and the other being dull or missing, the uneven and sharp pointy teeth, the hunched back, the red tones in the skin).  

What's really creepy to me is that the drawing I made I made to represent a violent aspect of myself...

Which makes me think the painting from 2005 (I scoured for the artist and couldn't come up with anything definitive!?) is attempting to illustrate that human plight of balancing the light and dark aspects within one's self.  The "dark" aspect could either be taunting or cowering in its body language while the "light" aspect could either be seen as in a position of defeat or of rising up into its own power.  Beautiful.

A little joyful reminder

Another Similarity

Smallest & largest example of a fractal, a human brain cell & the universe side by side - nature is fractal in nature.

Solar Eclipse

This annular solar eclipse is in 0 degrees Gemini. Wherever you have that degree in your star chart points to major changes ahead. Gemini rules the mind and our close environment. Eclipses cause major events in the year ahead.

PBR Painting

My submission for PBR Art, currently residing on the wall of Jack's Bar & Lounge in San Jose. Title: "Everything is Perfect". Oil on canvas

Cool Mushrooms

Some cool mushrooms I found whilst prowling 'round my usual haunting grounds today.

Spring Nostalgia

An old drawing I did; the spring-time weather is nostalgic, though, oh yes.